Oooooohhhhh... Another hard one! The topic is actually "You now" and it said "Where are you in your grief right now? How are you feeling? How far have you come? Are you wrestling with anything? Is your heart heavier or lighter now?" How do I answer this?!? It's only been less than 2 months... Well, the best way to describe me now is that most of the time I'm ok, just sometimes I'm not. For it only to have only been a little over 7 weeks I think I'm doing alright! I still have my moments. The first week or two were pretty rough. I cried a LOT. Since then, those moments seem to be getting fewer and farther between, but they're still there. For example, I lay in my bed and cried last night. DH happened to still be awake and was a little surprised. It wasn't the first time I'd lay there crying, but I guess it was the first time he was still awake. He kept asking me what happened and what was wrong, but there really wasn't anything in particular. It's those quiet moments when my mind starts reeling that really present a problem for me. It's aggravating to randomly feel like crying. It sucks to think about what I've lost. It's frustrating knowing that people are starting to forget what I've been through. But like I said, these moments don't happen quite as frequently now. I don't necessarily hide my grief, but it has gotten easier and easier "put on" my happy face and push aside my sorrow when I need to. It's a delicate balance, but the scales are usually tipped toward 'happy' ;)
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