This is a hard one! Who is/was Gabriel is a hard question to answer, let alone photograph! I guess I'll start by trying to define who Gabriel is/was... He's a brother, a son, a nephew, a grandson. Gabriel is a Child of God! Mostly, though, he is my baby boy and I love him and miss him immensely! He wouldn't even have been born yet, but he's been gone for 7 weeks already. We really don't know much about Gabriel... I often wonder what he would have looked like full term. What color would his eyes have been? Would he have had straight hair like his big sister and oldest brother, or curly hair like his younger big brother? Would he have been taller, shorter, more animated or subdued? So many questions we have to wait to find out the answers to!!
Because he was born before 20 weeks, there was no birth or death certificate for Gabriel, but we felt it was important to name him anyway. Gabriel, as most of you know, is one of the only angels named in the Bible. We found this fitting. His name means "God is my strength." We thought that was appropriate because this has been such a difficult experience for us, and I know that whatever strength I have received to endure and keep going has, indeed, come from my Heavenly Father. I was going to simply post a picture of the 'Birth Certificate' that I created for Gabriel, but I came across this "kanji name meaning" image and thought it was applicable.
Summer- My pregnancy with Gabriel was May-August. His whole life here was the summer of 2013.
Warrior- I feel like in a way I have become a warrior, like so many other BLM's (baby loss moms), fighting the injustice of our lost babies' lives barely begun and so easily forgotten.
Reason- I truly do believe there's a reason for everything that happens to us in this life!
Blessing- Gabriel was, without a doubt, a huge blessing in my life. Of course I wish things had turned out differently, but I've learned a lot about myself and my faith through this experience that I don't think I would have otherwise.
Flow- Joy & sorrow, gratitude & heartbreak, comfort & pain... They all flow together as part of life. You can't have the good without the bad!
No comments:
Post a Comment