Day 10: Beliefs #captureyourgrief

BELIEFS-

Oh my! I don't think one post & picture could ever be enough to cover my beliefs!  I will say that this is an important one for me, as I have relied heavily on my faith and beliefs through this period!  I can't really say why, but this experience hasn't made me question my faith, if anything it has strengthened it.  There's a lot to say on this subject, but I'm going to try to keep this fairly succinct...

I believe that we existed as spirits before this life, and that a large part of why we were sent here to Earth is to recieve a physical body, and to learn the lessons necessary to return home.  I believe some spirits have been faithful enough that they need only to come long enough to recieve their body and can return without any further trial.  I've heard some say that there can't possibly be a reason for one's child to be taken from them, but I believe that everything happens for a reason.  We may or may not ever know why things happen the way they do, but I do NOT believe that we're left to be tossed in the wind or left in the hands of fate.  I believe in a kind, loving, omnipotent Father in Heaven.  I believe that He allows trials and hard times to happen to us to teach us lessons we need to learn and proves our faithfulness, the "refiner's fire", but I don't believe God causes these trials to come upon us to punish us, nor wishes them upon us.  I think He hurts and grieves right alongside us in times of sorrow.  I know from my own experiences that He will always be there to comfort us if we reach out to Him.  I believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior and has provided us a way to return to Him again! I believe there is life after death and that families can be together forever!  I believe that we can speak to our Father in Heaven through prayer and that He will answer!  Do I know for certain I will see Gabriel again?  If I were to be completely honest I would have to say no, as miscarriage is a "gray area"- BUT I have hope that I will because families are forever!  More than anything else, I know that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and a Savior who understands my heartache!  I know He will never leave me comfortless!  President Thomas S. Monson (the President of our church and our Prophet) said in a recent address "Only the Master knows the depths of our trials, our pain, and our suffering. He alone offers us eternal peace in times of adversity. He alone touches our tortured souls with His comforting words: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 

(Angel Moroni atop the LDS Temple in Atlanta, GA)

"Blessed are they that mourn..."

Matthew 5:4 says "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.".  To be completely truthful I've always thought that was an odd sentiment.  Mourning is a part of life, but  to say that those who mourn are "blessed"?  Why would Christ say that??  Well, through losing Gabriel I've found a whole new meaning in this brief scripture! It's not necessarily in the mourning that we are blessed, but in the uniquely specific comfort that we are privy to because of the mourning!  By putting it in writing, it seems simple, but it just never clicked.  I have never felt such profound comfort any other time in my life.  It doesn't come automatically... We have to seek it, but it's there!  Like I said, pretty obvious, right?  "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted!"

"In His Constant Care" by Simon Dewey

{I absolutely LOVE this painting!}

"O death, where is thy sting?"

Today marks 1 year since the car accident that took my brother-in-law's life.  He was only 24. I know this doesn't directly relate to my story and what this blog is about, but due to my recent experience it got me thinking a lot about death in general today.  Death is an unfortunate part of life, you cannot have one without the other.  I know, I know... You're all probably thinking "Thanks, a lot, Captain Obvious!"  Well, there's really not much I can say that hasn't already been said about death, but that's what's been on my mind.  You really never know how long you'll have on this earth, or how long you'll have with the ones you love! One of my favorite scriptures about death is found in 1 Corinthians 15:55 "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"  Simple, yet profound!  We all have had or will have to face death many different ways and times in our lives, but through the Atonement of Christ the sting of death can be overcome!  What an incredible thought!

Something else that I've been thinking a lot about lately is how interesting it is that we all cope so differently with the grief associated with death!  The questions crossed my mind "Do we not all have  similar feelings of grief?" "Do some people experience grief with more intensity?" "Why do some people still have a hard time moving on after years, while others are able to get back to life after a few weeks?"  I've determined that my opinion (you'll find I have lots of those and am not terribly shy about sharing them. LOL!) is that we do all have similar feelings of grief after a loss of any kind, but that the severity and duration vary due to our personal religious or philosophical beliefs and coping abilities.  While I don't think we ever really "get over" the loss of a loved one, I do think we can get over the grief (perhaps w/ some help).  We're each unique in how we handle things, so I think it takes some experimentation to find things that help each individual. I'm no expert, but my advice?  Listen to your heart!  Do what helps you (as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else), seek out people who are supportive and steer clear of those who aren't.  Try different things.  Oftentimes the things we find helpful aren't things you ever would have predicted.  I know that's been very true for me!  And one last thing... Be kind. Be sensitive!  You just never know what others may be going through, or how they may be feeling, which is why we should try never to judge.  But, you know... those are just my thoughts... ;)