I do have good days! :)

Today has been a pretty good day, so I though I'd post from that angle.  I figure anyone reading this should know that not all my days are bad... I do have good days ;). In all actuality  (not counting that first week +) I'd say I have more good moments than bad and the scale is slowly beginning to tip even farther that direction... Most of what I post on here is about my bad days and learning to cope, because that's what I started this blog specifically for!  I just really don't want you to think I walk around sad and miserable all the time... Because I don't!  Matter of fact, if you were to randomly meet me on any given day you'd probably never guess what I've been going through.  More than likely you'd assume I was a fairly happy person.  Tired, maybe, but generally pleasant.  Now, there have been some moments (occasionally days) that I've had a really hard time getting out of my 'funk'. But those are times when I'll semi-isolate myself so I don't have to pretend.  I really don't like pretending things are ok when they're not, so on those days I try to stick around my house, maybe I'll find things to keep busy to distract myself, and often that's when I'll write down my feelings here or elsewhere as a release.  At first I was kind of afraid to continue my daily life and not feel sad because I thought I would- on some level- forget what happened.  Even worse, I was afraid I would forget my angel!  As I've read and talked to others who have been through similar experiences I've become much more confident that that won't, no, that that CAN'T happen!  This realization (along with many other coping techniques) has helped me to recognize that holding on to the sadness, the pain, won't do anything but hurt me more.  Of course that's not to say it doesn't still hit me sometimes, HARD, but I know that I don't need to be miserable all the time to remember Gabriel.  In the long run, I would much rather remember whatever happy parts of this experience I've had more than only remembering the hurt.