Developing an attitude of GRATITUDE

I told you things would be a little out of order for a while, and this is a good example. It seems logical that the first/ next order of business should be giving you the rundown of the circumstances surrounding my miscarriage and telling you the whole story, but I just don't feel like doing that yet... Instead I want to share something that's really helped me lately, and that's developing an attitude of gratitude. ;)  If anyone were to have told me beforehand what was about to happen, and told me to look for things to be thankful for I would probably have told them they were insane.  After all, how could you possibly find things to be grateful in a situation like this?!?  Well, I can't really answer *how*, but I am here to tell you that it is possible!  I have seen the Tender Mercies of the Lord more during this trial than in any other time of my life, so I feel like it would be terribly prideful of me not to recognize His handiwork.  I've learned that the Lord allows sorrow and tragedy in our lives, but He has shown me with no uncertainty that these tragedies are not necessarily His doing, and that He will always come to our aid if we can/ will humble ourselves enough to see it.  I know some of these may seem trivial, but here is a list (albeit incomplete) of the many things I have to be thankful for during this difficult time:

~My Hubby- who's been pretty great through all of this!
~My other three children
~The Gospel
~Temples and the ordinances & peace you can find nowhere else
~My knowledge that families can be together forever
~The hope that I'll see Gabriel again someday
~Prayer
~Websites w/ pics & stories of miscarriage that I stumbled upon long before there was a problem
~Intuition (or whatever you want to call it!) so the Dr.'s news wasn't a complete shock
~That we were able to find out he was a boy the week prior
~A kind Doctor
~An empty waiting room when I left the Dr.'s office
~Priesthood blessings
~The rainbow we saw on our way to the hospital
~My mom for being willing and able to keep my kinds for 2 1/2 days without warning
~Modern technology that allowed me to share my unfortunate news once (instead of over and over!)
       and allowed me immediate access to kind, supportive words from friends & family
~Indescribably AMAZING nurses!
~The compassionate way the hospital dealt with us
~Being able to deliver naturally & avoid surgery
~Having the opportunity to see and hold my baby
~Finding some incredible songs that express my feelings so perfectly
~Friends who have been willing to share their own experiences with me
~Not having to deal with much of the insensitivity you hear about
~The most uncomplicated physical recovery I could've asked for
~A church community that brought dinners to us
~A package from my long-time bestie on a particularly rough day
~Wonderful supportive friends and family
~Having pictures and hand/footprints to remember him

The list could go on...  So many things to be thankful for!